Car ride of the absurd
We are currently in the “Pirate” phase of development with C. There are a lot of “avast there, matey!” and “Arr”s and that sort of thing. In fact, we’ve discovered that talking like a pirate is very easy. Just drop your voice down and make it as gravelly as you can. Stick a pirate beginning on every sentence, go really fast through the rest of the sentence, and then draw out the last word (or add a pirate ending).
For example, “It’s time to get in the car”, turns into “Arr matey, it be time for us to be gettin in the caaarrr.” When you get to the word “it”, go really fast through the last “the” and then go really slow with “car”, drawing it out like it’s another “arr”. Try it, you’ll see.
In any case, the other evening, as we were driving back from a restaurant, C and I were conversing in Pirate lingo. I was saying things like “Avast there, it be a red light. Shiver me timbers!” and C was saying things like “Arrr, where’s my cup, matey?”
As this was going on, we passed a place called “Super Suppers” which J had been meaning to talk to me about. Perhaps, since she was not talking like a pirate, she thought that a serious conversation could be had. In any case, this is roughly how the dialog went.
J: “Have I told you about that place?”
Me: “Arr, no ye haven’t matey!”
C: “Avast there, me hearties!”
J: “They prepare meals for you to cook at home. They’re supposed to be really good.”
Me: “Shiver me timbers! If we’re going to go out to eat, I’d like them to be doing the cookin’! Arr…”
C: “Arr, Momma!”
J: “It’s only $120 for 6 meals..”
Me: “Avast there! $20 a meal be a lot of money!”
J: “Well, each one is for 6 people…”
C: “Arr, it’s another red light, daddy!”
Me: “Arr, that it is, matey. We’ve only got two adults and two kids in our family, momma!”
J: “Exactly, so the meals would last more than one meal.”
Me: “Arr, so we pay $20 a meal and get to have leftovers? What could be better, eh matey?”
C: “Aye, matey!”
J: “But if you compare it to going out, it’s much cheaper.”
Me: “But we wouldn’t be going out. Uh… ‘Arrr, matey’. We’d be cookin’ it ourselves, we would.”
C: “Avast matey, I dropped my cup! Hey, I dropped my cup!”
J (reaching back to pick up his cup): “Well, I think we should try it.”
You get the idea. The whole thing was quite bizarre. N stayed out of it. Who knows what he thought of us.