One of the challenges of being home alone with a 2 year old and 4 year old is when one (or both) have to use the bathroom. A few weeks back I was in exactly that awkward situation. N was sitting on the potty and C was playing with his trains. N was listening to me read (again), when he suddenly looked down. “Daddy! Look, look!”
“What is it?”
“I have a big penis!”
I really had no answer to that. Instead I started to chuckle. His older brother, heard and ran in to join us.
So N pointed it out to him. “Look, I have a big penis!”
C shook his head. “Noooo… You don’t have a big penis. I have a big penis.”
“No! I have a big penis!”
“No! I do!”
Finally, I managed to pull myself together. “Okay, okay, everyone. Let’s settle down.”
C wasn’t willing to let it go. “But I do! I do have a bigger penis!”
They both looked at me, but I was still out of ideas. I settled on changing the subject. “Let’s move on. Why don’t I finish the book?”
C shook his head. “Mine’s bigger. Look I’ll show you.”
He started taking his pants off.
“No!” I said, grabbing his hands to stop him. “Just leave your pants on. You’re 4 and he’s 2. You know that you’re bigger than he is, right?”
“But I want to see!”
“No. No showing other people your penis. Keep it in your pants.”
“But – “
N smiled. “I have a big penis!”
“That’s enough. You, finish going potty. You, back to the trains.”
“I’m going to ask mommy!”
“Okay,” I said. “You do that.”
This whole thing happened about three weeks ago. Since I haven’t heard anything about it from J, I’m guessing he never did ask her. That’s probably a good thing.