Mine’s Bigger

One of the challenges of being home alone with a 2 year old and 4 year old is when one (or both) have to use the bathroom. A few weeks back I was in exactly that awkward situation. N was sitting on the potty and C was playing with his trains. N was listening to me read (again), when he suddenly looked down. “Daddy! Look, look!”

“What is it?”

“I have a big penis!”

I really had no answer to that. Instead I started to chuckle. His older brother, heard and ran in to join us.

So N pointed it out to him. “Look, I have a big penis!”

C shook his head. “Noooo… You don’t have a big penis. I have a big penis.”

“No! I have a big penis!”

“No! I do!”

Finally, I managed to pull myself together. “Okay, okay, everyone. Let’s settle down.”

C wasn’t willing to let it go. “But I do! I do have a bigger penis!”

They both looked at me, but I was still out of ideas. I settled on changing the subject. “Let’s move on. Why don’t I finish the book?”

C shook his head. “Mine’s bigger. Look I’ll show you.”

He started taking his pants off.

“No!” I said, grabbing his hands to stop him. “Just leave your pants on. You’re 4 and he’s 2. You know that you’re bigger than he is, right?”

“But I want to see!”

“No. No showing other people your penis. Keep it in your pants.”

“But – “

“No!”

N smiled. “I have a big penis!”

“That’s enough. You, finish going potty. You, back to the trains.”

“I’m going to ask mommy!”

“Okay,” I said. “You do that.”

This whole thing happened about three weeks ago. Since I haven’t heard anything about it from J, I’m guessing he never did ask her. That’s probably a good thing.

Search the Tales


Archives

Dragon Run

Dragon Run
Check it out!

Mathfinder

Ghost in the Ruby
Mystery, adventure, and puzzles await!

What is DaddyTales?


Click here to learn more!