Fast as a snail

C and I are continuing to have discussions over who is faster. Now that we’ve put the religious issues aside, I’ve been having a lot of fun with it. For example, last week C was telling me how fast he was (for the umpteenth time), when I decided I needed to start asserting myself a little more.

“You may be fast,” I said, “but I’m super-fast!” When I said ’superfast’, I spun around and pointed at him with both hands for emphasis.

He giggled. “No… you’re not super-fast. I’m super fast!”

“That’s true,” I said seriously. “You’re fast as a….turtle!”

“Yeah, I’m fast as a – Hey! No! Turtle’s are slow! I’m not fast as a turtle!”

“You mean you’re slower than a turtle?” I asked.

“No, I’m fast as a turtle! No, no, no. I’m faster than a turtle! You’re as slow as a turtle!”

“Okay, you’re not fast as a turtle. You’re as fast a snail.”


“Yep, a snail with a bad headcold and a limp.”

“What? No… snails don’t limp! You’re wrong!”

“You’re right. I was wrong. Snails don’t limp. You’re as fast as a snail with a bad headcold.”

“That’s right! Wait – No! I’m not as fast as a snail with a bad headcold.”

“You mean you’re slower?”

Heh, heh, heh… Is 4 years old too early to start getting a little payback for all those dirty diapers I had to change?

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