The other night, the kids and I were all wiped out. With their momma out of town, we were winding up a long few days of adventuring. Unfortunately, it was only 5pm. I can’t put the kids to bed at 5 pm unless they are already asleep. Otherwise, I end up with a battle that lasts until 9pm.

That’s what you might call a “lose-lose” situation.

I have two answers to this conundrum. The best one is to read some stories quietly together. The problem there is that if the kids don’t fall asleep in the first 30 minutes or so, I’m in trouble. They end up in a kind of holding pattern, quite happy to listen to me read story after story after story, without ever falling asleep.

The other option is to watch a video. Since they were tired, I chose one that I hoped they’d like – but had no plot whatsoever. Plotless videos are good because they don’t encourage wakefulness. In this case, I went with Riverdance.

The three year old was out inside of 15 minutes.

The five year old, however, loved it. I guess that’s a good thing. We watched it together, talking about the different dances and songs and what they might mean. It was really a lot of fun.

At one point, however, the stage was taken by a single lady dancer in a big flowing dress. She danced a dramatic sensuous number amidst thick clouds of red lit smoke. No, I have no idea how this fits with the Irish theme of Riverdance.

C watched her open-mouthed for a little while, and then whispered to me “She looks like Ms. Beth.”

I chuckled. “I thought she looked like Momma.”

“No! I meant her face. Her face looks like Ms. Beth.”

Woah. That’s quite a distinction for a five year old to make. What did he think I was looking at? I came up with my usual clever retort: “Oh yeah?

“Yeah,” he said. “And momma doesn’t have a dress.”

Now I know that’s not true. It just isn’t.