For those of you who aren’t parents, let me paint you a little picture.

Imagine for a moment that you have one unthinkably valuable possession. It might be a work of art, or a favorite shirt, or a vintage car… Whatever it is that you love most, imagine that you have it. Now, realize that this thing that you’re imagining is very expensive to keep. In fact you spend more on it than you do on you – and that’s okay. It’s that important to you.

Now make that thing completely unpredictable. It runs into walls when you’re not looking. It climbs couches and leaps off them, counting on you to dive over the counter and catch it before it hits the ground. It switches from being riculously loveable to completely infuriating in the blink of an eye. Some days, it seems completely focussed on trying to break itself. Occasionally, it even sneaks up behind you and hits you with a pillow for no apparent reason.

Got it? Now imagine that you live with the guy who taught it to hit you with a pillow, and to pound the table during dinner, and half a dozen other maddening things I haven’t written about yet.

Sounds bad, right? Well, it gets worse. This man also spends his casual hours documenting your embarrassing moments and posting them on the web.

That’s what being a mom is like.

I believe I speak for all the dads out there when I say to all the moms out there: thanks. We appreciate your patience. And we’re really sorry we tried to teach our kids how to balance milk cups on their heads.

Happy Mother’s day!