Er… excuse us.
Ever wonder why parents seem to simply be resigned to accepting embarassing situations?
Here’s another example.
C has always enjoyed eating something called “fruit snacks”. Fruit snacks are a wonderful invention. They’re bits of jellied fruit that come in little foil packets. Kids love them – so you can use them as a bribe without feeling quite as guilty as if you were using candy.
What do I mean by bribe? Well, imagine for a moment that you’re in a grocery store, and your little toddler is being bad. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some peaceful way to stop him from running down the aisles and pulling things off shelves?
That’s where fruit snacks come in. Just keep a packet in your pocket in case of emergency.
I know, I know. You’re wondering how fruit snacks could be embarassing. Stay with me for a few paragraphs, and you’ll see.
My most embarassing fruit snacks moment came in the grocery store about a year and a half ago, when C was being bad. I grabbed the packet out of my pocket and held it up, calling out “Look! Look what daddy has!”
C looked back, saw what I had, and then ran towards me, shouting “Snacks! Hooray! Snacks! I want snacks!”
When I say that he “ran”, I mean that he went as fast as he could, holding his arms straight out in front of himself for balance. Picture someone in the classic sleepwalker pose, lean them forward slightly, and then imagine them moving their feet as fast as they can so they don’t tip over forward. That was how he ran, shouting “snacks! I want snacks!” the whole way down the aisle.
What? That doesn’t sound embarassing? Ah. That would be because I haven’t told you that at that point in his development, he pronounced “snacks” like “sex”. Now go ahead and re-read those two previous paragraphs, substituting “sex” for “snacks”.
I tried to explain to the other shoppers: “Snacks, not sex, snacks. He wants ’snacks’ not…er…ah…”
Have you ever caught yourself trying to explain to a group of strangers that your toddler wants snacks, not sex?
It’s really not as easy as it sounds.